Describe your own job in one sentence, preferably in a humorously derogatory way.

Some samples from the bitter commenters at Dilbert Blog:

I spend a great deal of time explaining to senior people what the decision they have just made actually means.

I get paid to teach your kids enough to complain, but not enough to make a difference.

It 's my job to believingly convince other people that I agree with them, but not too much.

Via Blogometer.