Mesmerizing wrestling finishing move

This wrestler's finishing move is hypnotizing his opponents, and then breakdancing (poorly). It's apparently Combat Zone Wrestler The Osirian Portal. (His poor opponents sure have to pretend to be mesmerized for an awfully long time.) Via.

*Buy WWE: Satan's Prison - The Anthology of the Elimination Chamber at Amazon.

Giant female wrestler takes over news broadcast

It's like the return of Terry Tate, office linebacker, but even better - - watch Isis the 6'9" wrestler help with the weather report, and slap some sense into the staff.

Link roundup

1. Fascinating look at the life of prowrestler Ravishing Rick Rude.

2. From a lengthy review of the game Darksiders, this meditation on the original Legend of Zelda game:

Zelda is not a game in the spirit of Adventure, even though it contains bats, swords, keys, castles, and, eventually, chickens. Its main deviation from Adventure is that the vast majority of the player participation part is in trying to discover what they are supposed to be doing, and where things are. Zelda, if anything, and possibly somewhat ironically, is the console’s best attempt at the Adventure genre, as beaten to death by Roberta Williams et al. You start on a screen, there is a hole. You navigate into the hole. You are given a thing. The thing is used to stab. Never are you given the kind of information you might logically need to progress, such as ‘someone sells a candle, it shoots the fire, senor leenk, perhaps some booshes will burn?’ No, that never happens. What you have, instead, is a world built with layer after layer of proudly standing contradictions. If a set of statues appear to be inert, then, eventually, on some screen, one of them will start to move if you stand near it. Presumably, when it moves, it reveals stairs, though, I can’t recall if every statue that came alive was guarding stairs or if it was just a couple of them, and therefore, the other stood as a kind of weak and ambiguous hint that, if you want a statue to move, it might. If, from that, you learn that, sometimes, stairs may be hiding under something that is not stairs, then you are smarter than me. The first time you had access to a bomb it seemed like an awkard weapon. How would you know that the 4th tile from the left on some clifface could be a door?

We now make assumptions about bombs and walls, and, granted, in those days, there was a lexicon of bizarre icons that we documented as we explored the NES. Balloons could be worth points, they could also be fragile. If you had a balloon, then you needed to protect it. If the enemy had a balloon, it was a weak point. If a balloon was unattended, you need to capture it. The entry for balloon in the encyclopedia of gaming was one of the easier, less obtuse examples, and it was still somewhat of a mystery. The entry for bomb took up page after page, and ranged from a specific key that opened a very particular place, to a dangerous thing not to be touched, to a tool that could backfire on you, to any number of other uses. In wrecking crew, bombs not only didn’t break anything, they interfered with your attempts to break things. Bombs could even be worth points and have no function at all. A bomb, really, could be anything. It’s not that the Zeldas bomb is internally inconsistent, just that, now, we know what bombs are for. They’re for feeding to triceratops, and widening cracks. A bomb, now, is defined to within an inch of its life in the mythology of the zelda context, which, as mentioned before, does not really exist.

3. Cool animated gif of the monolith from 2001.

*Buy 2001 posters at Amazon.

Undertaker/Lesnar staredown

The Undertaker was interviewed after Brock Lesnar's MMA loss on Saturday and had a quick staredown with Lesnar.

Link roundup

1. Great article on Owen Hart's wrestling career. It includes a list of wrestlers that died in the ring.

2. If Alfred was Batman.

3. New York's drinking water is filled with tiny shrimp. (I do not want to know whether that's true of Los Angeles, also.)

Link roundup

1. The latest, excellent installment of Deadspin's Dead Wrestler of the Week column.

2. Gawker's working overtime humiliating the director of Apple's app store.

3. "Do you feel like your cell phone's text message bill is getting higher every month? You're not alone. By some accounts, text messages cost more per megabyte to send than do messages from outer space to Earth. But you can email and Instant Message texts to phones for free. Here's how."

Meet the Shockmaster

Chris Sims accurately describes the Shockmaster's introduction as the greatest introduction of a wrestler ever. Wikipedia explains:

After departing from the WWF, Ottman would find himself the center of the most embarrassing moment in wrestling history. World Championship Wrestling (WCW) had recently signed Ottman, and he was to make his debut in a match alongside Sting, Dustin Rhodes, and Davey Boy Smith. He would be their mystery partner in the upcoming eight-man tag match against the heel team composed of Sid Vicious, Big Van Vader, and Harlem Heat at Fall Brawl.

On "A Flair for the Gold", (an interview segment hosted by Ric Flair) in front of a live audience at Clash of the Champions XXIV, Sting and Smith were confronted by Sid and Harlem Heat, demanding to know the identity of their new partner. Sting exclaimed , "All I can say is, he is going to "shock" the world, because he is none other than... The Shockmaster!!" The camera zoomed in on a particular section of the set where two torches set off a small pyrotechnics explosion in front of a sheetrock wall. Ottman was supposed to make a dramatic entrance by crashing through the wall. His new costume consisted of a Star Wars Stormtrooper helmet painted silver and covered in glitter, a pair of jeans, and a long black vest. Instead, in perhaps the most humiliating moment in wrestling history, Ottman tripped over a piece of lumber that was framing the set, causing his helmet to fall off and slide across the floor. As he scrambled to put the helmet back on and get to his feet, Flair audibly exclaimed "Oh, God!". Ottman stood menacingly for a moment in an attempt to salvage the disaster, during which Smith could be heard saying that he "fell flat on his fucking arse!". Dusty Rhodes later revealed on an episode of WWE 24/7's Legends of Wrestling that the piece of lumber previously wasn't there during a successful practice run and it was later put there by David Crockett without informing Ottman.

Ottman walked up to Sid and Harlem Heat, all of whom were visibly struggling to contain their laughter. The interview, which was actually voiced by Ole Anderson, only got worse as Anderson started giggling at the beginning and mistakenly called Sid 'Stid' at one stage. Despite zero crowd reaction and leaving the announcers speechless, WCW decided to continue with the feud.

World Wrestling Entertainment, which now owns all rights to WCW and its video library, has described The Shockmaster's debut as "one of the most unintentionally funny moments in sports-entertainment history," and "a debacle many still consider one of the worst gaffs in the history of sports-entertainment." While Ottman was displeased with the turn of events, he now finds humor in the incident.

And speaking of Chris Sims's encyclopedic knowledge of impossible to believe characters, meet Spider-Man foe Banjo, "a super-powered hillbilly mutated by radioactive waste."

*Buy Stormtrooper helmets at Amazon.

Young Batman (link roundup)

Young Batman apparently photographed by Jonathan May (NSFW). Via these sites.

And a few more links:

1. Rippling place settings act out a scene from American Beauty. Via.

2. Fascinating look at the career of wrestling's The Ultimate Warrior. Specifically, whether he was replaced by an impostor. Sample paragraph:

And so the Ultimate Warrior was back, picking up where he left off. Or was he? If this new man wasn't the old Ultimate Warrior, then who was he? Kerry Von Erich? Jim Powers? Some unknown 6-foot-2 muscleman? After all, the WWF has pulled similar switches over the years. The Killer Bees' whole gimmick was based on their masquerading as one another; there was the Dave/Earl Hebner switcharoo at WrestleMania III; the Undertaker (Mark Calloway) was replaced for a stretch by Brian Lee (known lovingly to fans as "the Underfaker"); Jim Ross brought imposter versions of Diesel and Razor Ramon to RAW after Kevin Nash and Scott Hall, the men who originally played the roles, defected to WCW in 1996.

3. Great write-ups of A.I. (which I hated), and Eyes Wide Shut (which I actually liked). Via.

*Previously: Cheerful images from Kubrick flicks.

*Buy A.I. toys at eBay.

Alien as a period romance (link roundup)

Alien in love by Jake Murray.

And a few more links:

1. Bill Simmons wrote a funny summary of the latest edition of Wrestlemania that included this gem:

When WrestleMania XIV took place at the Boston Garden, I got press passes and brought my buddy Birdman with me. Michaels wrestled Steve Austin in the main event with Mike Tyson as the referee, but his back was profoundly messed up thanks to two herniated discs. There were rumors that the Heartbreak Kid might bow out. He didn't. During the match, you could see Michaels gritting and wincing through every bump. Austin pinned him for the title, then Tyson decked him with a right cross as the crowd went ballistic. They drank beers, toasted the crowd and left the ring. The event ended. Even the lights dimmed to signify things were done. Time to go home.

Not yet. Birdman wanted to stick around to see how injured Michaels really was. He had been lying in the ring during the entire Tyson/Austin celebration, unable and unwilling to move. Once the event ended, Triple H (his best friend) and Chyna (their "valet") scurried over to help him backstage. With the cameras off and nobody watching, Michaels scraped himself off the canvas, then stood in place for a couple of minutes. Finally, the three of them started moving toward the exit -- slowly, painstakingly -- with HBK's arms draped around his two friends. Only then did we realize how much pain Michaels had endured.

2. Subtle graphic for USC's recommendation that students die to escape their student debt.

3. Great description of the huge cube-shaped skylight atop the Manhattan Apple store - - it creates a "ceremony of descent." Via.

*Previously: Vintage comic book adaptation of Alien.

*Find vintage Apple computers and collectibles at eBay.

Plush Tusken Raider (link roundup)

Plush Tusken Raider on sale at Etsy.

And a few more links:

1. When Brendan Shanahan was 14, he asked Rick Vaive for an autograph, and Vaive turned him down. Four years later, Shanahan faced off against Vaive and used the opportunity to attack him. It took two linesman to restrain him. Via.

2. Another WWE wrestler dies young. Edward "Umaga" Fatu, a cousin of The Rock, died at age 36 from a heart attack.

3. Swordswoman vs. Swordsmecha.

*Previously: A Tusken Raider tells a ghost story.

*Buy NHL bobbleheads at eBay.

"Boston League of Women Wrestlers" (BLOWW)

1. The Boston Globe has a new article about the Boston League of Women Wrestlers, commonly referred to as BLOWW. You can see pictures of some of the wrestlers at the official site (which seems to be years out of date), and watch various matches at YouTube. My favorite names are Tinker Hell and Betty Rage. Via.



2. And speaking of subtle oral sex references, check out this Burger King ad for the BK Super Seven Incher. Via.

*Previously: Logo for Catholic church features child performing oral sex.

*Buy vintage wrestling posters at eBay.

Lego Koala (link roundup)

Lego Koala by Mick "Count Blockula" Crowley.

And a few more links:

1. Bruce Schneier says you should teach your kids to ask strangers for help - - because most people are actually pretty decent, and if you're the one choosing who to contact, you have a pretty good chance of avoiding someone dangerous. An interesting point that seems obvious in retrospect. His article also describes several interesting services, including one for providing alibis.

2. Former WWE wrestler "Test" was found dead at age 33.

3. The cover to a new Hitchhker's Guide to the Galaxy novel. Relatedly, here's an XKCD strip that should be made into an official part of the Kindle ad campaign.

4. Axe-wielding sides of meat, made out of Lego.

*Previously: American with 10 alibi witnesses convicted of murder in Nicaragua.

*Buy plush koalas at eBay.

How Allen Iverson learned the crossover

Here's a young Allen Iverson (check out the hair) crossing over a still relatively thin Michael Jordan:



Iverson learned the crossover from a dramatically inferior player, who taught him the value of practice.


Here's a few more random links:


1. Auditorium is a relaxing, puzzle solving flash game. Drag and resize the arrows to redirect the flows of light and charge up the batteries.



2. Stove Top will heat 10 bus stops in Chicago to promote its new stuffing product. How long until someone reports the devices as a bomb?


3. Dean Kamen can forget to eat for days. And he once snuck into the Hayden Planetarium in New York to install a new light show. Learn a little more about him here.


4. Laker Lamar Odom is a huge Ric Flair fan. "One of his most cherished birthday gifts was one of Flair's trademark full-length robes, replete with rhinestones, sequins and colorful feathers along the neckline." (I never understood why anyone would pick Flair as a favorite. Mine was Randy Savage.)

*Previously: Alltime best NBA logo.

*Buy vintage NBA jerseys at eBay.

Trick of Treat desktop wallpaper and more Halloween links

Trick or treat desktop wallpaper, edited from the November 1959 cover of If Science Fiction by John Perderson Jr. Found here, amidst a whole bunch more high quality scans of vintage pulp.



Downloadable Hulk Hogan mask. Download it here, brother. Via.



Monster face pumpkins.



Pumpkin robot. See how it was made here. And check out this great photo of a spiderweb she posted. Via.



Learn how to turn a photo into a jack-o-lantern template. Via.



Make t-shirts with creepy eyes. Via.



Dog dressed as Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. Via.



Skull apples found here. Check out her skeleton gingerbread cookies.



How to make Star Wars costumes for dogs.




Wieden + Kennedy Halloween invitation.




Creepy photo found here.

*Find more downloadable masks, spooky food recipes, Halloween-themed projects, pumpkin carving ideas and more here.

*Buy Halloween recipe books at Amazon.

WWE Vinyl Toys

Mankind and The Undertaker are just two of the upcoming WWE Vinyl Aggression toys.

Video: Incredibly silly pro wrestling fall

Found here.

Two great-looking books about Mexican wrestlers

"With his collection of over 120 portraits, Malcolm Venville intimately observes the complexity of the Luchadore by capturing both the human element and stage persona of each wrestler, through direct uncluttered photography."

Lucha Loco





"Dan Madigan will provide the ultimate guide for Lucha fans, in an awesome four–color book that will be undoubtedly informative and incredibly entertaining. Posters, photos, wrestling cards, handbills, mementos will be featured throughout the book."

Mondo Lucha A Go-Go: The Bizarre and Honorable World of Wild Mexican Wrestling

Video: In the middle of Greco-Roman Wrestling match, wrestler does back flip

Video link (starts immediately), it's very impressive. Via.

Video: "The Total Package" Lex Luger loses it on camera

I first saw this awhile back and recently stumbled upon it again at Cracked.

Lucha Libre Projects

Instructions for making masks, painted eggs, and placeholders here.