Link roundup

1. Owl and cherry blossoms desktop wallpaper by David Lanham.

2. The romance novel-esque title card for the Nov 15 episode of Adventure Time is hilarious.

3. Relatedly, Natasha Allegri posted two great illustrations on her Tumblr.

*Buy Adventure Time hats at eBay.

Women running away from houses

Book covers from the blog Women running away from houses. Via.

*Previously: Headless women on romance novel covers.

*Buy Writing a Romance Novel for Dummies at Amazon.

SciFi romance novels

It's been far too long since my last romance novel roundup.


Star Raiders:

Pursuing criminals whose evil plans threaten the safety of the universe, a galactic lawman finds himself at the mercy of the woman he-s always loved-the woman he once betrayed.

Buy it.





Close Encounters: An Alien Affairs Novel:

Kiera Smith is not like ordinary Genetically Engineered Persons . . .

The Bureau of Alien Affairs needed a special GEP agent with empathic abilities to handle their most extraordinary assignments—and a rogue geneticist saw to it that Kiera fit their specifications. But she turned out stronger, faster, smarter, and more impervious to harm than anyone anticipated. A reluctant "superhero," Kiera wishes she were normal, but it is not to be.

On Orpheus Two, the indigenous Buri race faces extinction, a prospect the powerful Dynatec corporation welcomes and, in fact, may be actively hastening. It is Kiera's job to protect these beautiful, exotic aliens . . . and to discover what there is on Orpheus Two that Dynatec feels is worth killing for.

But the magnetic allure of Thor, the breathtaking Buri leader, is proving a dangerous distraction. And now, to save Thor's people, Kiera will need a power she's never before possessed—something hidden in the unexplored recesses of her heart.

Buy it.





Starjacked:

In the lawless fringes of deep space, pirate Tia Sen has a rep for being hard as plascrete, tough as Amalan leather, and as strong as she is beautiful. She also has a secret that courts death: For years she has been freeing enslaved children. Stepping in to rescue a valiant mechanic from a near-fatal beating risks more than her life. Thanks to her traitorous heart, her web of lies is in danger of unraveling. Undercover operative Rork AlRen is no stranger to lies. Emotionally scarred by the murders of his wife and unborn child, he wants nothing more than to eradicate every bit of pirate scum in the galaxy. Then his mission goes sour, and he finds himself Tias personal slaveand falling in love with the very pirate hes sworn to destroy. Yet love is a luxury he cant afford. Tia possesses a powerful new weapon that could overwhelm the Union of Planets and plunge the galaxy into war. If Rork cant convince her to surrender it, he may have to break her trustand her heart.

Buy it.





Pleasure Dome:

Forced into retirement, Captain Soledad Scott, a former warship captain, has decided on a new career as a mother. She's come to the Pleasure Dome where a computer-matched male will donate his sperm the old-fashioned way and make her dream of motherhood come true. But Sol's worm-hole dyslexia sends her to Room 990 instead of Room 660. Commander Gabriel Merriweather, half-breed Chakkra and master empath with the Diplomatic Corps, awaits his sterile playmate of the evening. When she arrives and orders him to pleasure her as if he were the paid sex toy, Gabe willing complies. But the next day he learns that the woman isn't a Dome employee, but a maternity client who has stolen his sperm and disappeared. Sol can't believe that the man she just spent the night with is the very man who destroyed her warship career. What will he do if he discovers that she's carrying his child? Unwilling to find out, Sol decides to disappear. But is the Allied Worlds' expansive universe big enough to hide her from him?

Buy it.

Ghoulish necklace

Stitches/necklace by BDDP for Harlequin's Mira series of romance thrillers. None of the covers were remotely as interesting as the ad. Via.

*Buy romance novels at Amazon.

One Sexy Daddy (link roundup)

One Sexy Daddy, from Harlequin's Sexy Single Dads series. From a reader review:

This poignant tale from Harlequin Press would provide the young adult with a well-rounded view of career life, parenthood, and sexy shenanigans. Don't let the cover throw you; this novel is not about having pedophilic relations with your daughter. It's about breaking through the stereotypes provided by society, such as that of the swinging single man, to different stereotypes, such as that of the content married man.

As entertaining as it is educational, Daddy grabs you from the get-go with its description of Adam Tyler, a charismatic architect, who zooms into our lives in his tomato-red beamer, fresh from three months in the Amazon where he built both a hospital for the poor and his smooth caramel chest. Through Adam's adventures, young college men would learn to cope with hardships of juggling one night stands with pageant queens while passing off your daughter onto a hilarious string of disgruntled babysitters. Adam, the quintessential ladies man, shows us the proper mix of suave bedroom banter, "Oh, yes, baby...you're doing what you're doing just fine," and comedic ineptitude in the kitchen, repeatedly setting fire to his home in futile attempts to make pancakes. Sound like the good life? Adam thought so too, until his job forced him to take residence in the gossipy small town of Deerhorn, Wisconsin. Can a big-city swinger survive in a generic small town? Will spending time with his daughter bring Adam down to Earth?

Available for a penny at Amazon.

And a few more links:

1. The Jesus and Mary Luchador candles I previously mentioned are now on sale.

2. A Last Exit to Nowhere fan shows off her love of Aliens (NSFW).

3. Something I learned from a commenter - - Wonder Woman is made of clay?

*Previously: Sexy ads for toilet scrubbing liquid.

*Buy Writing a Romance Novel for Dummies at Amazon.

Book Cover Roundup

A few book covers that recently caught my eye. All links are to Amazon:


The Disposable Skateboard Bible




Up Against The Wall (Harlequin Intrigue Series)





John Dies at the End




The Real Wizard of Oz: The Life and Times of L. Frank Baum




Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls (Quirk Classics)

More by Jordan Summers

My earlier post about Jordan Summers' Little Red Riding Hood/Werewolf series barely scratched the surface of her prolific career. You absolutely want to examine the other books on display at her site. The cover you see above is for Saber-Tooth, part of the racy Ellora's Cave series:

Katy Manfred is tired of being sent on wild goose chases by her boss. And this latest job is a doozy. He wants her to go to La Brea Tar Pits to trap a saber-tooth tiger. Talk about an impossible task, they haven’t existed for over eleven thousand years. The hunter is about to become the hunted.

Kegar knew he shouldn’t have shape-shifted and snuck off the Phantom warrior spaceship without permission, but he was eager to begin his search for a mate. The last thing he expected was to be shot in the flank by a beautiful blonde female bent on making a science project out of him.

Awake and naked in his human form, Kegar finds the woman of his dreams bending over him. What’s a feline in heat to do? Why pounce of course.

He only has a few hours to convince this professional tracker that she’s his perfect mate. It’ll take all Kegar’s sensual skill to bring out the hidden wildcat in Katy. Luckily, he’s more than up to the task.

Go check out the other books on display. And visit Amazon to enjoy less subtle Ellora's Cave books, such as Overtime, Under Him.

*Previously: The Spaniard's Defiant Virgin.

*Buy vintage romance novels at eBay.

School in Norway looks awesome

Unicorns and daredevil hotties star in these ads by Supertanker for Norwegian private school Sonans Utdanning.

*Previously: Woman sends stripper to her 10 year high school reunion.

*Buy vintage romance novels at eBay.

Enemy of Poacher t-shirt (link roundup)

Enemy of Poacher t-shirt, apparently related to a game called "Pole's Big Adventure." Via these sites.

And a few more links:

1. A positive view of rape was apparently common in romance novels in the 1970's. Via.

2. At Toycutter: Spaceboy custom action figure (and the rest of Umbrella Academy).

3. Alice jumps through the looking glass.

4. The father of the 17-year-old girl whose ass enraptured Sarkozy (maybe Obama) and the rest of the world says, "She is dedicated to helping the poor, not to seducing world leaders." Her mother added, "She is really skinny and only ever wears pants. [She] is timid and ashamed of her body. This was the first time in her life that she wore a dress, and it was borrowed from a friend in the shantytown because she doesn't own one." So, shame on all of us.

*Previously: The LA Times attends "Telenovela U."

*Buy Umbrella Academy toys at eBay.

Romance novel cover shoot (link roundup)

Slideshow of photos taken at the cover shoot for romance novel The Lord of Devil Isle. Worth a look if for nothing else than to be dumbfounded as to how the model, Charles Paz, could possibly have been chosen Mr. Romance 2009. Excuse me while I go work on my pecs. Via.

And a few more links:

1. Apparently the CIA and Mossad have scored some great successes against Hezbollah recently.

2. NFL football contracts are rather ephemeral, but at least for the moment, the last player chosen in the 2009 draft was signed by the Chiefs.

3. Mini Billboard ad for the game Little Big Planet stuck in the grass in Union Square. Via.

4. Big furry monster cradling a little boy.

*Previously: A Steampunk Romance.

*Buy NFL bobbleheads at eBay.

Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches' Guide to Romance Novels

The official product description for Beyond Heaving Bosoms: The Smart Bitches' Guide to Romance Novels:

With insider advice for writing romances, fun games to discover your inner Viking warrior, and interviews with famous romance authors, Beyond Heaving Bosoms shows that while some romance novels are silly -- maybe even tawdry -- they can also be intelligent, savvy, feminist, and fabulous, just like their readers

$10 at Amazon.

*You can see my favorite romance novels here.

*Buy condoms at Amazon.

Motive: Secret Baby

Rejoice, it's time for another romance novel roundup! This time, I present Harlequin's Intrigue Series.


Motive: Secret Baby



The Cowgirl in Question



Secret Agent Heiress


Private S.W.A.T. Takeover



Armed And Devastating

And last, but certainly not least, the creepiest of the bunch:


Branded By The Sheriff. This one deserves a product description:

Years ago, Sheriff Beck Tanner had believed the worst about Faith Matthews. Now she was back in their small Texas town, forcing him to question everything he thought he knew about her. And when the killer who'd murdered her family set his sights on Faith—and her innocent baby girl—Beck's protective instincts kicked into high gear.

As dangerous pranks turned into deadly games, Beck needed Faith to trust him with the secrets of her past. And with a sadistic killer circling closer, all of Beck's attention had to be on keeping her baby safe…and ignoring his inconvenient attraction to the beautiful mother….

And here's part of the excerpt at Amazon:

Beck eased open the door just a fraction and heard the water running in the bathroom. "A killer in the shower," he said to himself. All in all, not a bad place for an arrest.

He made his way through the kitchen and into the living room. All the furniture was draped in white sheets, giving the place an eerie feel.

Beck had that same eerie feeling in the pit of his stomach.

He'd been sheriff of LaMesa Springs for eight years, since he'd turned twenty-four, and he'd been the deputy for the two years before that. But because his town wasn't a hotbed for serious crime, this would be the first time he'd have to take down a killer.

The thought had no sooner formed in his head when the water in the bathroom stopped. He had to make his move now.

Beck gripped his pistol, keeping it aimed.

He nudged the ajar bathroom door with the toe of his boot, and sticky, warm steam and dull, milky light spilled over him.

Since the bathroom was small, he could take in the room in one glance. Outdated avocado tile—some cracked and chipped. A claw-footed tub encased by an opaque shower curtain. There was one frosted glass window to his right that was too small to use to escape.

Beck latched on to the curtain and gave it a hard jerk to the left. The metal hooks rattled, and the sheet of yellowed vinyl slithered around the circular bar that supported it.

"Sheriff Beck Tanner," he identified himself.

But his name died on his lips when he saw the person standing in the tub. It certainly wasn't Darin Matthews.

It was a wet, naked woman.

A scream bubbled up from her throat. Beck cursed. He didn't know which one of them was more surprised.

Well, she wasn't armed. That was the first thing he noticed after the "naked" part. There wasn't a gun anywhere in sight. Just her.

Suddenly, that seemed more than enough.

Don't you just hate it when you grab your pistol and and sticky, warm steam and dull, milky light spill? Sorry, this one's only available for preorder. Via.

*Previously: The Future King's Pregnant Mistress.