Link roundup

1. This movie would practically write itself: a Dirty Dozen of female soldiers sent to fight the Taliban and hunt Bin Laden.

2. New Bulletstorm footage looks great.

3. "If visitors at the Yantai Park in Shangdong province, eastern China, linger too long without feeding the meter [on park benches], dozens of sharp spikes shoot through the seat." Via.

Tools to help fix your sagging belly and face

Advertisements for the Facial Gym and the Slim-R - - two of the bizarre product ads recently posted by Mitch O'Connell.

*Previously: Vintage comic book advertisements.

*Buy vintage medical equipment at eBay.

Pikachu crushed ice machine (link roundup)

Pikachu crushed ice machine - - because who wouldn't enjoy dessert expelled from a yellow rodent. Via.

And a few more links:

1. Looks like the next Project Rooftop redesign contest is Black Canary.

2. Dave Perillo's submission for the upcoming show at Gallery 1988 is "Baseball Mascots Through the Ages."

3. Suddenly, I'm very interested in author John Twelve Hawks. Reputable sources have suggested that he's actually Stephen King, or Michael Chabon, or James Frey.

*Previously: Pikachu paper toy.

*Buy John Twelve Hawks books at Amazon.

Neve Luxury Ice

Neve Luxury Ice:

We only use the purest water possible. We believe that the water one consumes should be of the highest quality and so should their ice. Our cubes are frozen a minimum of 48 hours to ensure the slowest dilution rate achievable. Our elegant cube designs fit perfectly into tall and short glasses. Their size and solidity lead to perfectly chilled, undiluted drinks or cocktails. Not only do our cubes melt slowly, they taste great and look beautiful. Again, attention to detail and quality are not new concepts - they've just been forgotten as of late. We prefer to remember and celebrate them.

Here are a few of the options:

Collins/Hi-Ball Ice This long "spear" is perfect for tall glasses, slowly lowering the temperature of your drink without affecting any carbonation in it.

Rocks/Old-Fashioned Ice Crafted for shorter and wider glasses, this huge "rock" of ice accommodates drinks that call for "straight" spirit, or the addition of citrus, while maintaining the proper "washline" (the "line" which the liquid creates before the lip of your glass).

Shaking Ice Ideal for the professional bartender, this product has been measured accurately so as to cool your cocktails in a shaker, without too much dilution. Its design ensures that it will not explode or crack during the shaking of a cocktail.

Presumably they have an option specifically designed for enjoying out of a super model's belly button. Via.

*Previously: Optimus Prime sculpted out of ice.

*Learn luxury marketing with these books at Amazon.

Vampire Bat Acrylic Paperweight

Vampire Bat Acrylic Paperweight on sale for a little under $40 at Amazon.

Rodenator Pro let's you blow up squirrels and other rodents (Google Trends roundup)

Spokane, Washington Parks and Recreation officials are under fire for their plan to use the Rodenator Pro to blow up squirrels. Above is the ad for the device. You really don't need a flashy campaign when your product is that awesome. There's a forum at the official site, which could really use more participants.

And I'm experimenting with something new. Here's a roundup of four more items I saw on Google Trends that seemed interesting:

1. 47-year old Susan Boyle appeared on Britain's Got Talent and blew everyone away with her incredible voice.

2. This is the dazzle rifle:

It emits super bright light to blind adversaries. Here's a list and photo gallery of more nonlethal weapons that could be used against pirates.

3. 18-year-old high school student Samuel Valdivia was caught having an affair with his 48-year-old math teacher, Tamara Hoffman, by Hoffman's 20-year-old boyfriend, Sixto Balbuena, who was also one of her former students. Balbuena stabbed Validivia to death (accidentally). Story and photo of Balbuena here. The only site I saw with (what was alleged to be) a photo of Hoffman was so sleazy, I won't link to it.

4. Supposedly some study indicates there's a cure for kleptomania. True or not, this sentence is priceless: "Reuters India reporting out of New York states that there is a drug, naltrexone that can help people who have kleptomania."

*Previously: What it's like to pilot a drone and have to decide in a moment whether to blow up a suspect.

*Buy ray guns at eBay.

Bear staple remover, Pocket multitool for Freemasons

Multitool for Freemasons.




Bear staple remover. (Perfect if you're ever in the mood for a $75 staple remover.)

Both designed by Jac Zagoory Designs.

*Previously: Free tool for creating watermarks.

*Buy Freemason collectibles at eBay.

Billy Mays' Magical Beard

Billy Mays' Magical Beard by Vonster. Download it as a pdf here or buy it on merchandise at Zazzle.

And while I'm talking infomercials, why doesn't The Snuggie have gloves?



Who cares if it has sleeves. It should have built in gloves.

*Previously: Beard in a box.

“Kraven’s Last Hunt” in 30 Seconds (link roundup)

“Kraven’s Last Hunt” in 30 Seconds. A hilarious recap of a Spider-Man storline that I was way too young to read. Via.

And a few more links:

1. Photos of of a long line of people at Whole Foods hoping to get a signed bottle of wine from...Tool's Maynard James Keenan?!

2. Hand list of investment "experts" that don't actually invest in the manner they advise other people. Via.

3. The 10 Worst Quotes From The Huffington Post For 2008. Via.

4. The old snake in a can trick goes awry.

*Previously: Luchador wine.

*Buy "Cubicle Warfare: 101 Office Traps and Pranks" at Amazon.

Excuse me, is that a T-Rex in your pocket? (link roundup)

Flying Dragon Toys demonstrates that sometimes it's tough to figure out where to put the T-Rex head on a transforming robot. More photos here.

And a few more links:

1. Original script for Joss Whedon's Dollhouse. Via.

2. Shirley Temple, Lady Diana, and Marilyn Monroe paper dolls.

3. It's really important to some women that they be able to post photos of themselves breast-feeding on Facebook.

4. Motorola wants to prevent laid off employees from signing on with competitors. Via.

*Previously: Joan Holloway paper doll.

*Buy Dinobots at eBay.

Animals That Will Kill Yo A$$ 2009 Wall Calendar (link roundup)

Still looking for a calendar? How about Animals That Will Kill Yo A$$. Or you could buy the incredibly popular Sarah Palin Calendar.


And a few more links:

1. After a mere incompletion, Detroit Lions player Ramzee Robinson taunted a Green Bay receiver and got flagged by the officials. Detroit finished the day 0-16, and the worst team in NFL history. Ramzee Robinson getting flagged for taunting should be on the cover of the 2008 Detroit Lions commemorative dvd, right? At least his deed has been commemorated at Wikipedia.

2. Most interesting sentence I read today: "It does sometimes seem to me that many of this world's problems, stem from our using powers that aren't appropriate to seventy-year-olds." (i.e., things like nuclear bombs could only have been designed by people borrowing knowledge from those who had come before - - you couldn't possibly discover, by yourself, all of the science necessary to create such technology in a human lifespan). Go here for more.

3. Mickey Rourke can't quite strangle his resurgent career fast enough, saying of Sean Penn in Milk: "Look seans an old friend of mine and i didnt buy his performance at all—thought he did an average pretend acting like he was gay besides hes one of the most homophobic people i kno." Sad, this is what Mickey used to look like. Two of his movies, Angel Heart and Body Heat are some of my alltime favorites.

4. Caroline Kennedy said "you know" 12 times in a 49-second clip. Yet the NY Times headline read "As a Candidate, Kennedy Is Eloquent but Elusive." Well it did say that until Gawker shamed them into changing it.

*Previously: GigPosters pinup calendar.

*Buy vintage pinup calendars at eBay.

"Jesus Didn't Tap" (Mixed Martial Arts Clothing)

Just the facts: There's a brand of clothing called "Jesus Didn't Tap" aimed at mixed martial arts enthusiasts. (If you submit to a hold, you tap out.) Here are photos of some of the t-shirts, which are on sale here:


"Put your demons to rest"



"Jesus didn't tap"



"Break your bad habits"



"Jesus loves me and my new tattoos"



"Jesus didn't tap" (in camo)


"Jesus didn't tap" rash guard

And finally here's the "Jesus Didn't Tap" rap:

"For all you other people, don't talk smack
Cause I'll tell you right now, Jesus didn't tap"



Some interesting details about the brand's founders here.

I tell you, now that the holidays are over, I'm seeing incredible gift ideas everywhere I look.

*Previously: Vatican clerics have timecards and have to clock in.

*Buy "IFL: Greatest Knockouts and Extreme Action" at Amazon.

Inflatable Ben Wallace

This is the Ben Wallace "Inflatable Defender." It was included here as a bad sports-related Christmas gift, but who wouldn't be pleased to receive this?



The seller is even hosting a photo contest, with the best photo winning a signed jersey.



(Hopefully an actual NBA jersey.)

*Previously: Inflatable crime scene.

*Buy inflatable stuff at eBay.

Twilight Edward Body Shimmer

Twilight Edward Body Shimmer: "Add subtle shimmer to your body with this iridescent powder. It includes a small application brush and comes in a clear container with an image of Twilight's Edward."

*Previously: Burger King's body spray.

*Buy "So You Wanna Be a Sexy Bitch: Raise Your Game from Overlooked Nice Girl to Skilled Chick Everyone Wants to Get With" at Amazon.

Now that's how you review a coffee mug

Augie De Blieck Jr uses 983 words and five photos to review the Umbrella Academy coffee mug.

Here's a few more links

1. More than half the grades given to Brown students last year were A's. Link.


2. Two University of Iowa professors have killed themselves after being accused of (unrelated) sex scandals involving students. Link.


3. Absolutely hilarious animated gif featuring the worst rug burn (mat burn?) of all time. Link.


4. Buy a pack of baseball cards and you too might win a strand of Abraham Lincoln's hair. Link.


5. Over the last 30 years, GM and Ford have wasted enough money that they could have closed their own facilities and simply bought Honda, Toyota, Nissan and Volkswagen. Link. Via.

*Previously: Umbrella Academy pvc set.

*Invest your money with the very valuable baseball cards on sale at eBay.

Kellog's Kream Krunch cereal

Kellog's Kream Krunch cereal "with chunks of real ice cream." I thought this was a joke at first, but no, it was a real cereal and this art is available on a few items at eBay. Via these sites.

*Previously: Ant-filled lollipops.

*Buy the Little Book of Big Packaging Ideas at Amazon.

Peanut Butter Slices

With P.B. Slices, you can make a peanut butter sandwich without facing the terrible decision of whether to use two knives to make a sandwich, or trying to just use one without contaminating the jelly jar too much. Truly we are in an age of wonders. Via.

While exploring the P.B. Slice site, I learned that arachibutyrophobia is the fear of getting peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth. This site promises to cure the phobia in just 24 hours.

*Previously: Kermit the Frog cupcakes.

*Buy Hello, Cupcake!: Irresistibly Play Creations Anyone Can Make at Amazon.

Used condoms on sale at Amazon?

No, this is not photoshopped. Via.

*Previously: Snow White and Seven Dwarves condom ads.

Forget ice, cool your drink with Nordic Rocks

Nordic Rock is mined from ancient Swedish pollution-free base rock. It is the purest way of cooling your drink - literally 'on the rocks'. Stone does not melt, which means no unclean water in your glass. They are also reusable making them very eco-friendly.

To use, simply place the stone ice cubes in the freezer for approximately one hour before use. For a normal glass, two or three Nordic Rocks will be fine. They give off their cold gradually and equally.

For maintenance, rinse your stones under clean water and store them in the leather pouch provided. They are then ready to serve you again any time to your fullest satisfaction.

Nordic Rock - no better way of cooling your drink.
Comes as a set of ten complete with leather storage pouch.

On sale here. I'm not really sure why you should keep them in a pouch instead of the freezer. Via.

I'm proud to be an American because this stupid Burger King burger is NOT coming here

"The 6 Pack, which costs £4.49 on its own or £5.69 as part of a meal, comprises one big Aberdeen Angus patty inside six rolls, stuck together to allow consumers to tear off portions. In one pair of rolls the burger is topped with ketchup, the second has a cheese topping, and the third bacon and cheese." Link. Time to sell off stock in Burger King? Via.